Its the start of my 3rd cycle, so only 7 more infusions to go, or about 2 weeks left. Yesterday Claire and I met with my oncologist for the first time in 2 months. Every time we have needed to see an oncologist he has been like a figment of our imagination and had to survive on patch in providers, which is kind of frustrating. But while we were meeting with him and his team they indicated there would be no 4th cycle. Kinda hard to believe since we havnt taken any tumor markers or had any scans since my first hospitalization. But lets not look a gift horse in the mouth. For now, we will take it as April 16th, or 13 days from now as my last infusion.
Iv been detailing throughout this journey mostly about the cancer, treatments and how it has effected and limited me in day to day life. But its not all bad and I think some people need to know that. I have been able to work a few days when I was feeling well enough. Not strenuous work but more than sitting around the house. Iv felt well enough to record some videos about my experience. I was able to take a 1.5 mile hike with Mom and Claire the day before the start of my second cycle. Iv cooked more dinners for them than I ever thought I would. Collectively and with help from my step dad, we have gotten little things done around the house. But most of this activity came about 30 days into treatment. I was told that as the infusions went on, that the side effects would become less and less intense. It didnt make sense to me as my body would become weaker and weaker. But sure as shit, here we are. I'v actually even gained some weight back and I am pretty close if not right back to my pre-treatment weight, which I have been told is pretty impressive.
But here I sit, Wednesday on my 5 day cycle, tolerating it much better than the other two 5 day runs. Im anxious and excited to get to Friday because my 2 remaining subsequent treatments are cake. In my mind, I make it to Friday and we're pretty much done. I should mention that we did have to call twice to get my 3rd round of treatments scheduled because the hospital forgot but as you can tell its a reoccurring theme that YOU need to say on top of, if you're the patient. And they had the treatments scheduled at 3pm which would have had me at the infusion center until about 9pm. Luckily, we were able to sort everything out on Monday so we're back on my normal schedule. I cant stress enough how much you need to stay on top of, and be an ACTIVE part of your treatment.
But all this drive, motivation and determination wasnt without help. I know I say thank you all the time, but I cant say it enough. Thank you to each and every person who has called, texted, sent a card, visited this blog, donated, dropped over countless gallons of ice cream, shared the Go Fund Me link, helped with the fundraisers, stopped over to the house or infusion center, posted on facebook, helped with the foundation, the list goes on. Its what has kept the motor running.
It has me at sort of a loss though. I know that everyone who did something related to this specific patient and this diagnosis, did it out of the kindness of their own hearts, but how do you repay this kindness? I have had the luxury to sit up late at night alone thinking about this. The best way I can think of is to keep being me. Its been humbling and overwhelming to hear the stories of why this particular person is reaching out, the memories they had. I'll continue to be a friend, a confidant, the shoulder to cry on, the fighter, the motivator, the guy you call at 0300 because your stuck or stranded, the dude with the boat that tows you back halfway across the lake under the moonlight. Because despite what the news will have you believe, the world isnt so bad.
I'll be keeping up this fight just a bit longer, hang on, we've almost made it. <3